Asking for help……

In January 2017 I reached my breaking point. For someone who has often thought she was superwoman the realisation that I wasn’t was pretty bloody tough. There had been wobbles over the last couple of years but the culmination of too many challenging situations to mention, left me feeling anxious, panicky and completely unable to see the woods for the trees.

Having watched others suffer from mental health issues I knew I needed to act before things progressed. I wasn’t depressed but I had completely burnt out and the panicky feelings were starting to scare me. I had been trying to cope on my own for so long, believing I could manage and not wanting to appear weak, and situations that were completely out of my control kept appearing to challenge me.

I now know that autonomy or control over our situation and the support that my family, friends and work colleagues could offer were the most important factors in starting to not just feel like I could cope but actively enjoying life’s challenges again.

I was very lucky to be introduced to a lady called Carolyne Crowe. I would really recommend either having a look at her website or contacting her through the VDS Training Services. I signed up to do some personal coaching with Carolyne and spent the first few sessions mostly blubbing down the phone…….sorry Carolyne! We covered far too much to write about in one blog but I thought I would just share a few of her little gems with you:

  •  One of the things I constantly struggle with is balancing work, family time, and my horse. When my boys are sitting in the office after school I feel guilty, when I am at home with the boys and not in the office I feel guilty and when I am riding my horse I feel guilty. Carolyne uses a phrase called ‘being responsibly selfish’ which has completely turned my guilty feelings around. Riding is for me, my time, when for a hour (ish) my head is free from everything but Splash and my ambitions for him. It is so important and I now realise just how important. There is always a balance to be had and as much as I would love to ride all day every day, I am now very content with once a day, six days a week!
  •  I am by nature a worrier and for a while it consumed me. I worried about everything, what happens if another practice does this or what happens if that person leaves………. Carolyne would constantly remind me that some things are completely out of my control and that I should focus my energies on the things I can control.
  • Another saying of Carolyne’s which I have taken to using on a fairly regular basis is “It’s not the problem that is the problem, it’s our attitude to the problem, that’s the problem” So often I found myself being consumed by a problem, it grew bigger and bigger until it felt impossible to overcome. Carolyne taught me to work out what I could do about the issue, break it down into manageable chunks and to stop worrying about the things I couldn’t influence. So by changing my attitude to the problems I have felt far better equipped to deal with the inevitable challenges life throws at us.


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